Little l has been coughing. I think since Sunday, but time is difficult for me.
I know the cough, truly I do. I get it, Big L gets it. It is a particular kind of cough that I was hoping little l would not have, but there it is. Being a panicky mother I took her to the doctor yesterday, and much to my dismay she confirmed what I thought. Little l is pulling hard to breathe, and likely has asthma. While I like to pretend this is not a big deal, and it is nothing we can't handle, it kind of is. I can handle it no problem. I can give her a normal life and make it so that she can do whatever she wants, no problem. We have an excellent allergy, immunologist, asthma doctor that has been treating big L since she was nine months old. All of that I can deal with.
I just feel a little guilty at times that both of my children developed this and it is because of my genes. Not something I can control, I know, but still, it is a big deal to me.
I also felt bad yesterday because I don't seem to trust myself. I knew the cough for what it was the first night she had it. I was just hoping it would go away. I also doubted myself, thinking, well it is just a cold. The same thing happened last week with big L. She fell and had a very bad (read would not stop bleeding) scrape on her chin, plus scrapes on her shoulder and knees. I didn't think she needed stitches, but couldn't stop second guessing myself, so I took her to urgent care.
I realize it will take some time for me to trust my instincts after big L's father, but this is getting a little ridiculous! Any ideas?