Monday, November 21, 2011


Since big L was three most of her schooling has been Montessori.  I like the Montessori method, and am generally pleased with how she is learning and growing.  However, this year her teacher is having personal issues.  Her school is not communicating with parents regarding what they are doing to find a teacher for her room.  To be honest, between this and the person who runs the school and feels it is acceptable to treat parents as if they are children who do not know any better, I have had it.

Her learning has stalled since October because there is no one challenging her in class.  She doesn't come home spouting off addition/multiplication problems she is so proud to have completed anymore.  Instead she tells me about how she taught this student this lesson and that student that lesson.  All of that is fine, it is Montessori, but it should not be the majority of her day, or at least the only memorable part of her day.

After many pained hours of thinking about what would benefit her more, we have decided to move her to the local public school.  We don't have bad schools where we live.  What I have noticed the most is that my girl scouts who go to the public school are progressing quicker than the girls going to the Montessori school (big L excluded: we "work" a lot at home on reading).

There are many plusses at the public school.  They have programs set up to work with children at whatever level they are currently at in learning.  They have computer labs, a real art room, a library, and other options we just can't get at a school with 150 children, K-8.

In the end, I think the change will be for the best, but sometimes I worry that she won't adjust to sitting at a desk.  She has so many friends at the public school I believe she will do fine.  Did I mention they have a nurse?  No more stressing about accidental ingestion of a food that could endanger her life.

Starting in January, after winter break, big L is going to be taking the bus to her new school.  The bus makes it more fun for her, and much easier on me!  I hope the excitement overshadows the friends she is leaving behind.  We live in such a small town she will be in school with her new friends all the way through high school.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Remembering the Good

Little l is teething.  It was a long night, and it has been a long morning.  After 45 minutes of being inconsolable, teething gel, tylenol, and nursing she is finally sleeping.

I don't remember L being like this, though I am sure she was.  Teething is painful, and not much fun for the little ones.

I think today instead of remembering how she fussed I am going to choose to remember the funny faces she makes as she gets used to having teeth.  She keeps sucking her lip over her teeth, as if there is a foreign object in her mouth.  It is adorable.  Of course, even when she cries she is adorable.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Mish Mash of Ingredients

Since I am no longer working I am trying to cut down on wasted food, and the need to go to the store more than once a week.  So Sunday, I tried to figure out what to do with the odd assortment I had in the fridge.

What I did turned out pretty good.  I took two sweet potatoes, two zucchini, sauteed in grapeseed oil.  Added a little cumin and child powder.  i let this cook until the sweet potatoes were soft, then i took the ricotta cheese from the fridge and threw it in the pan, mixing it with the potatoes and squash.  i fried some corn tortillas, then made eggs for my husband and myself.  i must say it tasted pretty darn good, and used up items in my fridge that needed to be used.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Throughout the day I often think, "oh, i should write this for my blog."  then i begin writing it in my head, and feel quite happy with the way it begins.  Normally this is when I am driving, or otherwise engaged and unable to write it out.

Needless to say, today i sit here trying to figure out what i thought was so important to write about.

it is not coming to me.  next time i am inspired i will try to write it down!

Monday, November 14, 2011


I am a follower of the blog Soulemama.  I enjoy reading and looking at the pictures she provides of her life.  In some ways I wish I could follow in her footsteps.  Today her post on gratitude got me thinking.

After deciding I will not be working for awhile, I have finally overcome the stress about money, though it does arise every so often.  I have decided that it will all work out as it was supposed to.  Today though, as I walk through my silent house I am very grateful for the time I have at home with my little l.  She is eight months, and during the day we have a nice rhythm.  We eat breakfast together when big L and daddy have left.  We play a bit, nurse one more time and then nap.  Well she naps.  She awakens and we repeat the cycle with lunch.

Since I have decided not to work, I felt I should be doing more and I have been trying to cram as much work into her naps as possible.  My body has revolted.  My discs in my back that are not so good are screaming at me.

I watched a video on Fibromyalgia yesterday.  While I knew all of the things it stated, it helped to remind me that I have to take each day as it comes.  I can't force my body to be willing to work from dawn to dusk, and I need to have a little more moderation in my life.  I can't overdo it or I am in too much pain to do anything.  I need to wake up in the morning, assess how I feel and plan my day then, not the night before.

So today I am grateful for a loving husband, who understands when I can only do so much; a wonderful baby who allows me to have a peaceful and quiet home during the day; a six year old who is grateful to have me as a mother; a back that reminds me, often with great force, that it is okay to take it easy and not rush through life.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Big Decisions

I have worked since I was fourteen.  I have always had some form of income I could call my own.  Recently, however, I was fortunate enough to have my Of Counsel position cancelled.  I am now unemployed.  At first, it was upsetting.  After thinking about it, though, I realized that my heart is not in it.  I don't want to practice law anymore, and to continue doing so is doing a great disservice to my clients.  In fact, I think all attorneys who don't have their heart in it should think of finding another profession.

Practicing law is not easy.  It takes hard work and dedication.  You have to enjoy it or you become bitter, and clients know when you are bitter.

The adjustment in my own mind though to not having income is proving a challenge.  It is not that I don't have all I need, I do, but I don't have my "own" money.  It is hard to explain why this feels weird, bad, good, strange, and many other things I can't describe.  In a way, it is good, as it is forcing me to discuss budgets and money with my husband, and I have always avoided that in the past.

The decision has been made.  For a while I will simply be a mom and wife.  There is nothing simple about it, but those are my only jobs.  I love my jobs, and my heart is fully in it.  Being able to see my little L grow up and big L become a little lady is just what my life calls for right now.

Simplicity. Love.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. He attempts to anticipate my needs and provide for them.  Take this morning.  The baby awoke at 5 a.m.  I got up to feed her at 5:30 when she quit talking and started sounding urgent.  I was then surprised to see my husband running about, getting dressed, moving his computer to the sunroom, and preparing to be awake.  He is not a morning person.  I told him the baby was going back to sleep and not to worry about getting up, but the thought was nice.

I have not been sleeping well lately, and napping during the day has become unpredictable since little L is trying to have three teeth come in at once.  So his willingness to forego sleep for me was touching.

I have been thinking lately though about our relationship.  We have been together now for about two years.  In those two years we have communicated to each other by email on a daily basis.  That is, those days we are not together, so every week day he has had to work.  We stay in touch throughout the day by email so he can work, and I can do what I do.

I still want to hug him when he comes home at night (after he showers; he rides his bike to and from work), and I usually want to kiss him goodbye in the morning.  Sometimes, I am a bit cranky in the morning.

He still does thoughtful things, that in my experience a lot of men forget to keep doing when you are together for a long period of time.  Two years is not a long time, but I have never had a relationship last more than five years, so two years is a good start on forever with someone as thoughtful and loving as this.

It took a long time, and a lot of maturity and bad choices to finally meet the man of my dreams, but it did finally happen.  Each day I am grateful that I have him, and that we have such a beautiful family filled with love.