I have worked since I was fourteen. I have always had some form of income I could call my own. Recently, however, I was fortunate enough to have my Of Counsel position cancelled. I am now unemployed. At first, it was upsetting. After thinking about it, though, I realized that my heart is not in it. I don't want to practice law anymore, and to continue doing so is doing a great disservice to my clients. In fact, I think all attorneys who don't have their heart in it should think of finding another profession.
Practicing law is not easy. It takes hard work and dedication. You have to enjoy it or you become bitter, and clients know when you are bitter.
The adjustment in my own mind though to not having income is proving a challenge. It is not that I don't have all I need, I do, but I don't have my "own" money. It is hard to explain why this feels weird, bad, good, strange, and many other things I can't describe. In a way, it is good, as it is forcing me to discuss budgets and money with my husband, and I have always avoided that in the past.
The decision has been made. For a while I will simply be a mom and wife. There is nothing simple about it, but those are my only jobs. I love my jobs, and my heart is fully in it. Being able to see my little L grow up and big L become a little lady is just what my life calls for right now.