Step-dad love

My husband has been a part of our lives for about 2.5 years now.  I say our life, because big L and I had a life before him.  We had almost a year without her father before my husband came into our lives.  It was slow going at first.  Hard going at times.  Big L did not like men, and to this day still has some trepidation around grown men she does not know.  We have tried to provide her with positive male role models, and lots of love to help her trust again.

Apparently we have been successful, and I am relieved and happy about this.  A few weeks ago she decided it would be okay to admit that my husband is her step-dad.   This has taken a lot of work.  I told her when she started school, that it was okay if she didn't want to call him step-dad when talking to others, but that adults will naturally refer to him as such.  She would simply get mad when someone else said step-dad.  After her sister was born (we never call them half-sisters, just sisters), my husband became dad to little l, and big L has slowly become aware that she wants in on his fatherly love, not just his mom's husband who loves and takes care of me love.

She and her sister crawl over him like a jungle gym, they struggle to both fit in his lap for snuggle time, and even if she won't say it, and doesn't like to admit it, L and I both know that she truly loves her step-dad and feels safe and secure in the home he and I have created for her and her sister.

Take Saturday for instance.  I need more sleep than most.  Just something I need, so he lets me sleep in most weekend days.  He entertains both girls, gets them breakfast, and tries to keep them from screaming at the top of their lungs.  Usually when I do get up big L velcros herself to me and won't let go.  Today she would rather spend time outside with step-dad, exploring and watching him work on the yard.  I went out for a bit, but my eyes started itching and nose started running, so in I came. Allergies, ugh.  She stayed out for a bit.  I asked if she wanted to water our plants with him or me, and she said him.

The next big development is the Girl Scout father/daughter dance for our neighborhood.  I explained to L that she could go with whichever male family member she chose.  We discussed the options and she said that step-dad is more fun, and she would rather go with him, not her father.

Needless to say I am thrilled by this development.  I am so happy that she finally feels safe and secure and willing to share me and herself with others.  We must be doing something right!  However, after almost seven years of having L attached to me, there is a little sadness in the happiness. 

This Moment

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Borrowed from Soule Mama, visit her site to share and to see more.

Rag Rug: It's Done!!!!

Forever ago, it seems, I started cutting fabric, then sewing it together, making a big ball, and braiding.  Really I think it has only been 6 months, but that is a long time to be dealing with this big mass of fabric on my desk. 

Last night I finished.  The last bit was connected, and I am DONE!!!

It turned out pretty good, it still a little bumpy in places, but that is my fault for not having perfectly equal strips of fabric.  It is very colorful, because I just put pieces together without a plan.  These are all of the pieces of Big L's baby clothes that I cut up to make her quilt (which still is not complete). 

I followed the directions in Handmade Home.  The directions though were not quite clear when it came to lacing it together.  I basically had a basket halfway through, and had to rip it out and start again.  The needle I used also had instructions that were not so great.  I found that in order to have a flat rug I had to lace each braid.  Next time, I am going to not use certain fabrics, and make sure I am more conscientious when cutting them the same size.  But for now, I am done with rugs for awhile, this one will do for little l's room, and I can try to finish something else!!

Synchronicity

Have you ever started reading someone else's blog and thought, "wow, that is completely how i feel right now too."  I have been exploring past and current postings of Sofia over at Sofia's Ideas, and marveling at how much I have felt and am feeling the same way she does.  If you haven't read her blog, I highly recommend it.  She has an honest and open way of writing that makes you think, "oh, it is normal to feel that way," or "hey, that is easier than I thought, I can do that."

Her post for yesterday (April 3), was especially poignant to me.  I have been reading her magic of the mundane posts, and the submissions from others, and enjoying them.  However, she doesn't know that!  I have also contemplated figuring out how to put the "button" on my blog, and submitting something myself.  However, I have been questioning myself.  No one really reads my blog, why would they want to read what I submit to someone else?  What is the point?

Well, I guess the point is you won't know who you will reach unless you try, and there really is no harm in trying.  Even if something doesn't take off the way you want or thought it would it still reaches some people, and they are important, and you may be more important to their life than you know. 

Sometimes when you are struggling, or happy with simple things, it is good to know that you are not alone, that there are other people out there who feel the same, or experience life in the same way.  Sometimes I feel alone in my experiences, but reading what others write, helps me to realize, I am not alone, and it is okay to feel and experience life the way I do, or strive to. 

Half-Clean Clothes? A man's world.

I don't like to smell unpleasant things.  I don't know anyone who does, but I really don't like to find the smells unexpectedly in my home.  For the record, my husband thinks that I have an overly sensitive nose.  I don't think so.

As I was putting away laundry this morning, I noticed a scent in the closet, a non-pleasant scent.  I quickly tracked it down to one of my husbands shirts, which he obviously wore, but felt was clean enough to rehang in the closet.  I guess I should give him praise for hanging it, as I know others whose husbands have piles, but honestly, who wants that smell in the clean clothes area?

I have tried hard to get him to just put his clothes in the laundry, but he just has a different idea of dirty.   I personally can't seem to ever have an outfit I consider clean enough to re-wear.  The minute I get dressed I seem to end up with some form of kid goo on me.  I changed my shirt three days one day because I didn't want to go out covered in little l's lunch, and I still had cookie or dinner or some other unidentified substance on me.  I know my husband also has these things on him, so can someone tell me how his clothes are still clean enough to re-wear?

Maybe I am just being a bit weird and compulsive about this.......thoughts?

Knitting for my child

I have tried knitting in the past.  It was not a successful venture for me.  However, big L wanted to learn, and I was determined to become a better knitter myself.  So I began searching for easy patterns, and came across a contest to win a whole bunch of yarn, you just had to knit one of their patterns with their yarn.  No problem. 

Well, a month later I have a finished product it has holes, and I seem to have a habit of adding a stitch (and hole) and not dropping the stitch. 

Here it is, my highly imperfect top for little l:

I need a lot of practice!  I hope I win some more yarn.  Big L wants something next. I told here mommy needed to start with something smaller, but that I would make her something soon....my poor fingers are not thanking me. 

It was fun, and I do feel a sense of accomplishment.  Hopefully on the next one I can spot my boo boos earlier enough to rip it out and fix, these I didn't see until I had a lot more done, and ripping stitches is something I am slowly becoming more comfortable with. 

Learning to Communicate

When big L was this age, I was working, quite a bit.  More than I wanted to, but it was necessary.  I don't remember watching her learn to communicate the way I can with little l.

Little l is pointing, her way of saying, "what is that", or "i know what that is!".  Today for the first time she told me she wanted a nap.  Not normally something she volunteers for, but she laid down on the floor, wiggled around and cried until I laid her in the crib.

Babies are amazing.