My weight loss struggle is still ongoing. At this point, while I stress over the 15 pounds I have gained, I mostly stress about my inability to see myself as I truly am. I know I am not thin, but I also know that I am still within the healthy weight limits for my height. I know that I look okay, because I see pictures of myself. What amazes me is that when I look in the mirror I do not see what is in the picture.
Where is the disconnect? Why is this important? Not only do I want to work through this for my own self-esteem, I also want to figure this out so that my children do not have this same disconnect. I am sure that part of this is based on the false images we are inundated with by the media. How do you combat that? Apart from simply avoiding all images, which is impossible unless you have everything delivered to your home, never leave, and don't watch movies, tv, etc; you can't avoid it.
Attempting to change the media or support organizations that do is one way to feel empowered regarding the crazy way the media treats beauty both for men and women. It also feels as though we are having changes that are slow to happen. It still however, does not change how I see myself, and how I am critical of my own body.
I don't really know how to fix this, but I truly hope that my daughters find value in themselves outside of their looks, because there is so much more to them and my oldest is edging closer to the edge when as a girl her self-esteem is likely to dip. In the meantime, for myself I guess I won't look in the mirror I will just look at pictures of myself (of course those are few and far between).