Thursday, November 21, 2013

Weight Struggles are Life Long-Don't forget

If you read the blog (which I know there are like, 10 of you!), you know that I recently lost a LOT of weight and made some really good healthy choices.  Well.....I had a bit of a slide down the weight gain way.

I have been beating myself up for it and getting angry about it now for a couple weeks.  I gained back 15 pounds from my lowest weigh in.  That is A LOT.  I am NOT happy.  I would like to blame the surgery, which was a part of the problem.  You see I had gotten really used to working out hard five days a week.  Hard enough that eating 1800 calories a day was not an issue, in fact it was needed.  Then I had a three week no exercise period followed by a visit to my grandmother's house.  My willpower and mental happiness level were not able to deal with all of the candy in that house. 

Once I start down the sugar train I can't stop.  It is just a huge mess.  Before all that I could eat just one or just one serving of a sweet, now I am back to being the pig I was before I lost the weight.  It is not good and I am not happy.  Did I say that already?

Also, I really DON'T want to go back on my diet.  It is NOT a fun diet to be on, it is hard and I don't want to.  I feel like a two year old....

What I need to do is stop the sugar intake.  It is going to be hard, but I threw away the kids candy and have gotten rid of all the junk in the house (mostly).   My biggest issue now will be avoiding my husband's chocolate chips. 

I am very frustrated with myself, and I have decided to try a cleanse that my friends have had luck with.  So Advocare here I come.  I am not sure what will happen, and I am not doing the 24 day challenge, I can't afford that, but I need to get rid of this sugar addiction and get back to being a normal healthy person.  Not just for my weight, but also for my mental health. 

Then I have to admit to myself that I have an issue with sugar and food.  I CANNOT be lax EVER.  I HAVE TO EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I CAN'T TAKE A WEEK OFF.

I am posting this picture from a year ago as a reminder of what I don't want to be again.  Just think that was me after I had already lost about 30 pounds.  Only 80 more off this picture and you have were I am today. 

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