If you read the blog (which I know there are like, 10 of you!), you know that I recently lost a LOT of weight and made some really good healthy choices. Well.....I had a bit of a slide down the weight gain way.
I have been beating myself up for it and getting angry about it now for a couple weeks. I gained back 15 pounds from my lowest weigh in. That is A LOT. I am NOT happy. I would like to blame the surgery, which was a part of the problem. You see I had gotten really used to working out hard five days a week. Hard enough that eating 1800 calories a day was not an issue, in fact it was needed. Then I had a three week no exercise period followed by a visit to my grandmother's house. My willpower and mental happiness level were not able to deal with all of the candy in that house.
Once I start down the sugar train I can't stop. It is just a huge mess. Before all that I could eat just one or just one serving of a sweet, now I am back to being the pig I was before I lost the weight. It is not good and I am not happy. Did I say that already?
Also, I really DON'T want to go back on my diet. It is NOT a fun diet to be on, it is hard and I don't want to. I feel like a two year old....
What I need to do is stop the sugar intake. It is going to be hard, but I threw away the kids candy and have gotten rid of all the junk in the house (mostly). My biggest issue now will be avoiding my husband's chocolate chips.
I am very frustrated with myself, and I have decided to try a cleanse that my friends have had luck with. So Advocare here I come. I am not sure what will happen, and I am not doing the 24 day challenge, I can't afford that, but I need to get rid of this sugar addiction and get back to being a normal healthy person. Not just for my weight, but also for my mental health.
Then I have to admit to myself that I have an issue with sugar and food. I CANNOT be lax EVER. I HAVE TO EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I CAN'T TAKE A WEEK OFF.